20May2004
Well the good news for Prime Minister Helen this week was that subject to good health – that’s Helen and Pope Paul II - she’s going to get an audience with him tomorrow. Now this is history in the making. If the visit takes place she will probably be the first New Zealand Prime Minister to visit a Pope in Rome. In fact she will be the first self declared agnostic to visit the Pope. When they were setting up the audience New Zealand diplomatic officials were asked what was Helens’ religious affiliation. “That’s a good question” replied the diplomat. “We’ve heard that Senora Clark is an atheist” said Cardinal Giuseppe Ronaldo of the Vatican Curia responsible for State visits. “This could create a problem”. “No, no” responded the New Zealand diplomatic official “this atheist label was a cruel and heinous tag erroneously applied to her by our leader of the opposition Donald Brash. She’s definitely an agnostic.” “Well thank God for that” replied his Eminence. “You had us a worried for a moment. The Holy Father thinks there’s still hope for agnostics and in fact in these ecumenical and troubled days we Catholics and agnostics should stick together. We think that in Our Father’s house there are many mansions. We’ll find a room for Senora.”
Meanwhile back home Mr Brash cast doubt on any benefits Senora Clark, as she was now being referred to in Vatican circles, would gain from the visit. “I’m unsure what Ms Clark is likely to achieve by this audience with the Holy Father. Perhaps she is going to learn something about the handling of large groups of people. Learn from the Pope how he handles the crowds that regularly gather in St Peters Square for papal audiences. She might be preparing herself to receive and address the next Hikoi.” Continues Don Brash. “I’d have to admit I got the atheist call wrong. But then once an agnostic always an agnostic. In fact I’m a bit of an agnostic myself.”
“What benefits do you think could come from this meeting” the Cardinal asked of the New Zealand diplomat. “We think there’s an opportunity to plug into knowledge and insights of value to New Zealand”. “Like what?” asked the Cardinal. “Well we understand the Pope often holds open air audiences in St. Peters Square. Thousands of the faithful and indeed some of the unfaithful gather to receive his blessing. They’re joyful occasions. We had a similar experience a couple of weeks ago but far from joyful. A large group of mostly non-followers of Senora Clark gathered in our equivalent of St Peters Square – Parliament grounds in Wellington. They wanted an audience with the Senora but because the mood was unholy she would not come out on the balcony to give them her blessing. Does the Pope ever have this trouble? “Never, but he’s blessing the converted. “What your Prime Minister needs is to convert these non-followers.” “That would be impossible. The gathering was about the seabed and foreshore. It’ll take a miracle to convert them around to her point of view.” “Then she’s come to the right place, miracles are our stock in trade. I’ll have a word with the Holy Father. And after all as that great philosopher Forrest Gump said “Life’s like a box of chocolates” or as we Italians say “Life’s like a bowl of pasta - full of loose ends.”
Meanwhile back home Mr Brash cast doubt on any benefits Senora Clark, as she was now being referred to in Vatican circles, would gain from the visit. “I’m unsure what Ms Clark is likely to achieve by this audience with the Holy Father. Perhaps she is going to learn something about the handling of large groups of people. Learn from the Pope how he handles the crowds that regularly gather in St Peters Square for papal audiences. She might be preparing herself to receive and address the next Hikoi.” Continues Don Brash. “I’d have to admit I got the atheist call wrong. But then once an agnostic always an agnostic. In fact I’m a bit of an agnostic myself.”
“What benefits do you think could come from this meeting” the Cardinal asked of the New Zealand diplomat. “We think there’s an opportunity to plug into knowledge and insights of value to New Zealand”. “Like what?” asked the Cardinal. “Well we understand the Pope often holds open air audiences in St. Peters Square. Thousands of the faithful and indeed some of the unfaithful gather to receive his blessing. They’re joyful occasions. We had a similar experience a couple of weeks ago but far from joyful. A large group of mostly non-followers of Senora Clark gathered in our equivalent of St Peters Square – Parliament grounds in Wellington. They wanted an audience with the Senora but because the mood was unholy she would not come out on the balcony to give them her blessing. Does the Pope ever have this trouble? “Never, but he’s blessing the converted. “What your Prime Minister needs is to convert these non-followers.” “That would be impossible. The gathering was about the seabed and foreshore. It’ll take a miracle to convert them around to her point of view.” “Then she’s come to the right place, miracles are our stock in trade. I’ll have a word with the Holy Father. And after all as that great philosopher Forrest Gump said “Life’s like a box of chocolates” or as we Italians say “Life’s like a bowl of pasta - full of loose ends.”
posted by Lundon at 1:54 PM
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